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Friday, October 17 2014

Dear Friends…
I recently spoke to a great group of college students and shared with them what I think is THE ‘key’ to good relationships…want to know what it is?

Mind renewal is the key. Why is this the key? Because all the coping skills in the world cannot hold up under stress. If all we have are coping skills, or ‘good behaviors’, then eventually they will break down. What is lasting and sustaining is to be “transformed into a new person by the renewing of the mind.”(Romans 12:2). This really does change things! 

God wants to renew us so that our thoughts line up with His thoughts. Then we will naturally act in ways that are functional for our relationships. Our thoughts and actions will be in line with God’s truths. But remember that this is about YOU renewing your mind, not “fixing” your partner. 

The healing of our minds is also a path to healing the heart. Psychologists know that what we think becomes what we believe, which impacts how we feel and how we behave.”(p.121, The Perfecting Storm)

Below are some simple ways to begin renew your mind:

1. Meditate on and memorize scripture. God’s words are words of life! Really dig deep to understand His message and how it applies to your life.
2. Think on positive things. (Philippians 4:8) God is in the positive thoughts of your day. This is where you will start renewing your faith and hope in your relationships. You will give grace and mercy to the people you love. What a change this will make on you and your relationships!
3. Trust God’s love for you. (1 John 4:8) In that love, know that like a loving parent His ways are best for you. His word provides us with guidelines that ultimately lead to a richer relationship with Him and all our earthly relationships. So trust Him. It will be transforming.
4. Take your thoughts captive. (2 Corinthians 10:5). What are you thinking? Does it line up with God’s truth? Does it bring you life or cultivate negativity? Does it bring fruits of the Holy Spirit? If they aren’t moving you towards God’s truths, dismiss them.

We tend to think we have no control over our thoughts, but we do! We have a choice on what we focus on. Thoughts are powerful so make sure they are not destructive.

Choose to focus on the things of God. His truths. His character. His love. Focus on the One who created relationships and knows how to maintain them. Watch and see how the ‘key’ to good relationships works out. God’s ‘key’ is the RIGHT and only key. It’s not a quick fix, but it is a permanent one! So do the work, and watch a new and better life unfold.

Blessings and Love~ Angel

Posted by: Angel H Davis AT 12:10 pm   |  Permalink   |  Email

Benefits of Weariness


WOW! How weary I am. And so are many of you. I know because I hear your cries: in my office, on the phone, online, in church, at the grocery store, you name it! So much of what I hear from people today is about how tired, weary, and worn-out they feel.

Then again, you may not feel weary;  instead you may feel anxious, depressed, scared, lonely, angry, or any mixture of these emotions. Perhaps these are more your prominent feelings.


However you may feel, it’s too easy to look for the source or to find blame: social media; busy schedules; technology; work/family demands; the causes are endless. Of course, these have validity, and we can certainly manage them in more appropriate and successful ways.


Yet, as I sit with God today, in my quiet time, and look over my journals, what I see is the benefit of weariness—the benefit of our broken feelings and situations.

 I see, time and time again, over the years (yes, I am rebellious and slow-learning, and God is very, very patient), God working in me and through me, enabling me to receive His antidote to this tough life and all of its problems. 


It is so simple; and yet it is so hard.


It is HIM: Jesus; always more of Him.


“But,” you say, “Angel, I have to know what to do with my children,” or, “Angel, these bills are piling up,” or, “Angel, you don’t have a CLUE of how bad it really is.”


And I will say, “You are right, I don’t. And you are correct, these things need to be taken care of.” 


BUT FIRST, we have a larger need. Oh, the catch is it doesn’t appear like the larger need. Our core need, before bills, children, purpose in life, change in our feelings, is to be convinced, truly convinced and accepting of God’s love for us and our identity as His children.


And your heart and head may rebel like mine did.


“BUT, I need to know the answer to my problem.” 

And Jesus says:

“I am the answer.”

“I am so tired.”

And Jesus says:

“I know. Let me restore you.”

“I am afraid.”

And Jesus says:

“I know, and my love will take care of that.”


That just doesn’t seem like much; doesn’t seem like enough, when we are about to be evicted or our kids are in harm’s way. That support just doesn’t seem practical enough for our human brains to rest on.


Perhaps then we’ve hit on the real source or problem of our weariness: ourselves. You and me believing that if we work hard enough, try enough, worry enough, take enough time to figure it out, talk enough to that person, ignore it long enough—whatever your “enough” is—WE can fix it. The true problem is that it’s all about US!


We want to stay in the driver’s seat and be our own savior. Or we look to other humans to be that for us. If we believe our answer lies in us or other humans, we are likely to stay in that “out of control” anxious space, and the weariness or depression or addictions are bound to take over. There can only be one driver in our car of life.


The benefit of our struggle is to be wooed into the true solution. Life’s struggles are an invitation to know God more intimately. As we allow Jesus, who is ALIVE, who is the same yesterday, today, and forever, to become more real for us, more tangible, as we take Him at His word (Hebrews 13:5), as we choose to focus on Him and His promises, instead of the problems or feelings we are having, then we start to experience the reality of His presence with us.  With this, we begin to experience the peace He promises.

Why? Because our problems have been solved? The bills have all been paid? The feelings change?

NO…  peace comes from HIS presence. And in that place of peace we can see clearer, hear more accurately, and receive wisdom and direction.


As we “bend our knee” to Jesus’ love, dare to take Him at His word (John 3:16), choose to look to Him and depend on Him, and keep (John 17) depending on Him, then His life-blood starts to flow through us. It revives us, directs us, and transforms our thinking and feelings. Then life and all of its troubles, which are many (John 16:33), become manageable, doable.


Breath comes; rest comes; peace comes.


In this place new life springs forth. New ideas emerge and joy is eventually restored.


Struggling today? Rejoice in it, because it is calling you back home. Home to His heart of love (Romans 8:38-39), the place of true peace and rest. 

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